They’re squaring off in the Tribune Company boardroom, and the increasingly hostile wordplay popping up in official letters and press conferences got me thinking: what we really need in this world is the verbal equivalent of a dance-off.
No lawyers, no long and protracted legal maneuvers, just skillful blather and perhaps a dictionary, and certainly a spell-check. Winner takes all.
I’m envisioning an online venue where the simmering conflicts of our time could take it to the virtual mat to solve disputes amicably. Today: Tribune CEO Dennis Fitzsimmons vs. renegade board members The Chandler Family. Tomorrow: Bush vs. Ahmadinejad.
A ‘Battle Blog,’ if you will.
We’ll need a few ground rules of course, so here’s a start:
- Format-wise, Battle Blog would consist of side-by-side blog postings. Each opponent would create an inaugural post in which they’d make all their critical points. I’m thinking a time limit of 30 minutes should keep the posts in fighting form.
- No posting by committee; one rep from each camp would be elected to joust it out.
- After posting, the opponents would read the other’s argument and append their original post with rebuttals. The general public would be free to post comments at the bottom of each post. We’d give the comment area a snarky title like “The Peanut Gallery.” As Battle Blog’s popularity grows, we’ll introduce a celebrity panel composed of both ’80s sitcom stars and popular bloggers to provide further commentary on the matches.
- After a specified number of rebuttal rounds, the match would end, and winner would be determined by (what else) the voting public. JM J. Bullock of Hollywood Squares fame would announce the winner on live web-cam.
- Smaller conflicts could serve as preliminary fodder before the big fight. Airbag vs. Gojobby, for instance.
- All proceedings would be supervised by Battle Blog’s official mascot, Battlecat:
In this American Idol age, I think Battle Blog could really engage people in current events. Don’t we owe it to world peace — and the careers of our favorite stars of yesteryear — to try?