'Life in General' Archive
These Go to Eleven
Popped in to the hospital today for a quick EMG on my LUE, or Left Upper Extremity. If you’ve never had the pleasure, an EMG is a test whereby doctors (in my case, five) cram into an exam room and shoot electricity into you for a good half an hour to determine if your nerves [...]
You’re Either With Us…
I have studiously avoided Facebook because I heard it was a huge time suck, and I’d rather waste spend my time online reading news or blogs. Plus, I’ve already left a Twitter account languishing pathetically by the side of the internet. What am I doing? I’m trying to think up something amusing to write on [...]
Browsing le Boobtique
A large wall decal featuring a woman nursing twins used to hang over the breastfeeding aisle at the local baby boutique. She held one in each arm, like footballs.
The first time I saw this poster, a “woop” slipped from my lips. Renate rolled her eyes.
Breastfeeding doesn’t make me uncomfortable. I’m just a bit caught off-guard [...]
Raise the Drawbridge
“Ferris – he never drives it. He just rubs it with a diaper.”
When I turned 30 last September, both sides of the family kicked in to help me get a new bike as a present. Touched, I decided to wait until this spring to make the purchase; no need for the bike to sit in [...]
Date Night is Not Dead
Overheard in the line for movie tickets tonight: “One for Iron Man, one for Sex and the City.”
Neighbors
Eight years ago my folks moved to a county west of St. Louis where farmland still envelops pockets of strip malls. Suburbs spider out into the countryside, but feral cats played in my parents’ front yard and distant coyotes yowled at night.
Apparently the wild followed them back to the burbs in October; my dad awoke [...]
Your Fugitive’s Name Is…
We’re stuck on a plane at La Guardia airport, waiting for a ground stop in Chicago to lift so we can return home from a weeklong romp through the east coast. I’ve just seen Ja Rule in the airport terminal, and I figure this random sighting will provide me with some conversational fodder back home.
But [...]
Extreme Sleeper
This? This is nothing. You should hear about the time she bivouacked on a 90 degree rockface on Kilimanjaro with nothing more than a tarp and two climbing spikes.